Catholic University to End Co-Ed Dorms

This morning in the Wall Street Journal, Catholic University of America president John Garvey defended the schools decision to end co-ed dorms. His reasons are less than airtight; for instance, he suggests that co-ed dorms have a causal relationship with binge drinking and hooking up, simply because they’re correlated. (An obvious alternative is that a school with a conservative administration, religious orientation, or chaste culture is likely to be biased against co-ed dorms, and also more likely to attract chaste and temperate students.) Moreover, it seems silly to suppose that something like single-sex dorms would actually prevent people from having sex, because every college student has sufficient freedom to do so.

As a youngster, I would level such arguments against my parents’ prohibition on co-ed sleepovers: It’s nearly impossible to prevent sexual opportunity altogether, so the correlation between increased sex and an increased tolerance for sexually opportune arrangements could only be, I deemed, causal in one direction. Co-ed sleepovers were a symptom of a permissive culture, but could not themselves do any harm. And my participation in such, as a chaste 17-year-old, would have furthered no evil. The solution was not to end co-ed sleepovers, but for everyone to stop having sex.

As a member of the Anscombe Society, I often find myself perplexed about what we’re doing the next thing we’re doing. Will this blog post convince a single person to be chaste? Doubtful. Did anyone see our Valentine’s Day posters and change their mind about what they were going to do that night? I hope so, but the odds are slim. The rationality of doing work for Anscombe is much like the rationality of voting: you know that any individual action will almost surely fail to bring about your aim. Either it would have gone your way regardless, or it doesn’t go your way at all. So, too, with my parents’ cruel ban, or Catholic University’s plan to phase out co-ed dorms.

Yet none of these are actually worthless actions. True, they are “irrational” within a framework that views humans as nothing more than utility-maximizing machines, but such a view is ill-equipped to explain human actions (especially those in The Gift of the Magi). Rather, it makes more sense to call good actions good, even when their benefits cannot be seen. Picking up litter, keeping promises (even when nobody will know), telling the truth, honoring the wishes of the dead, and treating the mentally ill with respect–these are all good things to do, even when nobody is experiences their benefits.

Moreover, it’s impossible to know the effects of such actions, particularly when collective. It’s good that plenty of people vote, and by voting, you contribute to a culture in which people vote. It would also be good to live in a society in which college students didn’t behave promiscuously. It’s unclear how we can get to such a culture, but it’s similarly difficult to identify how we got to the one we have today, at least by looking at individual actions. It’s not as though the pill, for instance, instantaneously changed everyone’s opinions about sex, but behaviors shifted, and so did values, and with them customs. In trying to reverse the damaging cultural changes wrought by the sexual revolution, all we can do is apply forces in the opposite direction. And this is why, ultimately, I am not dismayed to find myself blogging for the Anscombe Society.

Perhaps a good society would not have co-ed dorms, and perhaps by banning them, Catholic University is pushing the culture in that direction. I don’t know that this policy will decrease the total number of unfortunate sexual encounters in the world, and it may prove more a hassle than its worth. It might also be the case that a good and chaste society would be fine with co-ed sleepovers and co-ed dorms. Yet a stand for chastity is a good stand to take, and to that end I applaud Catholic University’s decision. I will even, albeit begrudgingly, applaud my parents for the same reason.

10 Tips on Not Having Sex

In honor of April Fool’s, I’m posting this helpful advice written by an anonymous member of the Anscombe Society. The following views are not endorsed by the Anscombe Society. Also, if you are a small child, don’t read on, as this contains some slightly adult humor.

10 tips on not having sex
As they say, “write about what you know!”  So here are 10 helpful tips on not doing it.
10. Several times a week, take a
sharpie, and write a list of STDs on your upper legs, hips, and lower
back. If you find yourself compromised, your partner’s shock at
encountering this–along with the conversation that will inevitably
ensue–will probably buy you enough time to calm your passions.  Also,
because it might be difficult to explain yourself convincingly, you will
be further discouraged from finding yourself in such a position.
9. Draw disturbing images on your undergarments.  Possibilities
include depictions of war and poverty, your baby pictures, or just the
words: “Your sibling is doing the same thing!”  (Please let me know if you’d be interested in ordering
such attire- we may need more funding this year.)
8. Alternatively, if you’re lazy, consider staining undergarments with strangely colored dyes.
7. If you’re worried about having sex
with someone in particular, draw a picture of their grandparents, and
write under it either “grandma’s watching!” or “hurray for
great-grandkids!”
6. Draw tiny hand-prints on your body or undergarments and
write next to them “our baby’s hands will be so tiny!” This is
particularly effective.
(For all of these points, some degree
of lighting is required. If you fear that you’ll get busy in the dark,
consider sewing oddly shaped objects into your undergarments.  This will prompt
your partner to turn on the lights, increasing the efficacy of your other strategies.)
5. Don’t blog for Anscombe.  Abstinence-blogging makes you
irresistible, and leads to constantly being propositioned. (To be
perfectly fair though, correlation doesn’t equal causation.)
4. Wear a shirt that says “STD free in 2003!”
3. When talking to someone attractive, look at their eyebrows,
chin, ears, and elbows.  Decide which one is funniest.  Now imagine
that it is a small animal.
2. Before
you go on a date, especially if you’re going for a walk, drink a lot of
water.  This way you’ll really need to use the bathroom, which will
distract you from any sexual urges you may have.  This is extra nice,
because time will seem to pass more slowly, giving you a functionally
longer date with your beloved.

1. Don’t take precautions under the assumption that you might have sex.  So don’t be on the pill, and don’t carry condoms with you.  If you follow all my tips, and still worry about having unprotected sex, there are trained professionals at the Center for Abstinence and Chastity who… oh. This is awkward.

10 Tips on Not Having Sex

In honor of April Fool’s, I’m posting this helpful advice written by an anonymous member of the Anscombe Society. The following views are not endorsed by the Anscombe Society. Also, if you are a small child, don’t read on, as this contains some slightly adult humor.

10 tips on not having sex
As they say, “write about what you know!”  So here are 10 helpful tips on not doing it.
10. Several times a week, take a
sharpie, and write a list of STDs on your upper legs, hips, and lower
back. If you find yourself compromised, your partner’s shock at
encountering this–along with the conversation that will inevitably
ensue–will probably buy you enough time to calm your passions.  Also,
because it might be difficult to explain yourself convincingly, you will
be further discouraged from finding yourself in such a position.
9. Draw disturbing images on your undergarments.  Possibilities
include depictions of war and poverty, your baby pictures, or just the
words: “Your sibling is doing the same thing!”  (Please let me know if you’d be interested in ordering
such attire- we may need more funding this year.)
8. Alternatively, if you’re lazy, consider staining undergarments with strangely colored dyes.
7. If you’re worried about having sex
with someone in particular, draw a picture of their grandparents, and
write under it either “grandma’s watching!” or “hurray for
great-grandkids!”
6. Draw tiny hand-prints on your body or undergarments and
write next to them “our baby’s hands will be so tiny!” This is
particularly effective.
(For all of these points, some degree
of lighting is required. If you fear that you’ll get busy in the dark,
consider sewing oddly shaped objects into your undergarments.  This will prompt
your partner to turn on the lights, increasing the efficacy of your other strategies.)
5. Don’t blog for Anscombe.  Abstinence-blogging makes you
irresistible, and leads to constantly being propositioned. (To be
perfectly fair though, correlation doesn’t equal causation.)
4. Wear a shirt that says “STD free in 2003!”
3. When talking to someone attractive, look at their eyebrows,
chin, ears, and elbows.  Decide which one is funniest.  Now imagine
that it is a small animal.
2. Before
you go on a date, especially if you’re going for a walk, drink a lot of
water.  This way you’ll really need to use the bathroom, which will
distract you from any sexual urges you may have.  This is extra nice,
because time will seem to pass more slowly, giving you a functionally
longer date with your beloved.

1. Don’t take precautions under the assumption that you might have sex.  So don’t be on the pill, and don’t carry condoms with you.  If you follow all my tips, and still worry about having unprotected sex, there are trained professionals at the Center for Abstinence and Chastity who… oh. This is awkward.

Kiddy Condoms

According to NY Daily News, Switzerland has a new product on the market: condoms for children. The hotshot, as it is dubbed, is designed for 12-14 year olds, who are apparently less likely to engage in protected sex than older teens.
The hotshot was designed in response to a study, overseen by Nancy Bodmar. She was shocked at the risky behavior displayed by young boys:
“They have more of a tendency not to protect themselves,” she said,
adding that because of their young age, they also do not know much about
sexuality. “They do not understand the consequences of what they are doing,”
Bodmer said. “The results of this study suggest that early prevention
makes sense.” [from the article]
Such condoms do not strike me as the most effective strategy: I can’t imagine that the difference in difficulty of use will cause fewer 13-year-olds to have unprotected sex, and it certainly isn’t the best marketing strategy. (Adolescents generally dislike products that make them feel like children, particularly with regard to sex.)
More importantly, such a product sends exactly the wrong message: it’s fine for children to have sex. Some people, of course, might think that it’s more important for 14-year-olds to protect themselves, but what of 10-year-olds? and 7-year-olds?
In discussions about sex-education I often bring up the point that most people do take a normative attitude towards what is taught at what age: if kindergartners were having sex and getting pregnant (enabled by too much non-organic milk) we would not say “teach them to use condoms! If they’re going to make that choice, we want them to at least be safe.” Instead, we’d find the situation so unacceptable that we’d say “teach them not to have sex!” I–and hopefully most people–also feel that way about 12-14 year olds. And 17-year-olds. (Were we really more emotionally mature at 17 than at 12?)

Pluralistic Ignorance and the Hookup Culture

I just stumbled upon this interesting article from 2003. To quote a bit:

“Pluralistic ignorance, a concept first coined by Floyd Allport (1924,
1933), exists when, within a group of individuals, each person believes
his or her private attitudes, beliefs, or judgments are discrepant from
the norm displayed by the public behavior of others. Therefore, each
group member, wishing to be seen as a desirable member of the group,
publicly conforms to the norm, each believing he or she is the only one
in the group experiencing conflict between his or her private attitude
and his or her public behavior.”

Unsurprisingly, the researchers concluded that pluralistic ignorance played a role in encouraging the hookup culture: people tended to think that others were more comfortable with sex than they actually were, and would conform their behavior to that expectation.

As the article notes, pluralistic ignorance has been linked to college-aged alcohol consumption in a similar way. And many administrations have responded accordingly; at Princeton, for instance, we’re required to take an online course called AlcholEdu which repeatedly reminds us that not everybody is drinking.

I wonder, though, why colleges don’t take a similar approach to hooking up? It’s clearly not particularly healthy for the undergrads involved. (Don’t believe me? Check out Unprotected.) And the data certainly indicates a discrepancy between actual and perceived student behavior: in 2000, Princetonians estimated that 32.5% of their classmates had had fewer than 2 sexual partners within the past year, whereas in reality 79.4% of students had had fewer than 2 sexual partners in the past year.

Pluralistic Ignorance and the Hookup Culture

I just stumbled upon this interesting article from 2003. To quote a bit:

“Pluralistic ignorance, a concept first coined by Floyd Allport (1924,
1933), exists when, within a group of individuals, each person believes
his or her private attitudes, beliefs, or judgments are discrepant from
the norm displayed by the public behavior of others. Therefore, each
group member, wishing to be seen as a desirable member of the group,
publicly conforms to the norm, each believing he or she is the only one
in the group experiencing conflict between his or her private attitude
and his or her public behavior.”

Unsurprisingly, the researchers concluded that pluralistic ignorance played a role in encouraging the hookup culture: people tended to think that others were more comfortable with sex than they actually were, and would conform their behavior to that expectation.

As the article notes, pluralistic ignorance has been linked to college-aged alcohol consumption in a similar way. And many administrations have responded accordingly; at Princeton, for instance, we’re required to take an online course called AlcholEdu which repeatedly reminds us that not everybody is drinking.

I wonder, though, why colleges don’t take a similar approach to hooking up? It’s clearly not particularly healthy for the undergrads involved. (Don’t believe me? Check out Unprotected.) And the data certainly indicates a discrepancy between actual and perceived student behavior: in 2000, Princetonians estimated that 32.5% of their classmates had had fewer than 2 sexual partners within the past year, whereas in reality 79.4% of students had had fewer than 2 sexual partners in the past year.

Abstinence and Academic Excellence

In this recent post, the New York Times describes a CDC study which concluded that abstinence in high school is correlated to higher grades. A few fun facts from the study:
-only 32% of students with A averages have ever had sex
-if a student has a D average or worse, there is a 69% chance that he or she has had sex
-a student who averages a D or worse is 6 times more likely to have had sex before the age of 13 than a student with an A average
It’d depressing to imagine that my grades might be inflated, and that they would be even lower were I not abstinent. Therefore, I will interpret this study to say that choosing to abstain is symptomatic of intelligence.
In the interest of truth, however, I should admit that it probably runs the other way. (That is, abstaining is actually good for your academic performance.)

Remembering “Students of Virginity”

During my senior year of high school, I was amazed to find this NYT magazine article describing the abstinence groups at Harvard, Princeton, and MIT.  Before reading it, I had no clue that intelligent human males existed who held principled objections to premarital sex.  In my Seattle high school, although I was not alone in abstaining from sexual activity, I was one of the only people I knew who openly expressed a moral objection to premarital sex.  This view was generally tolerated as a religious quirk, though regarded as a bit dangerous.  (Had my reasoning pertained to mental health it would have been much safer.)  This didn’t oppress me much, but it did give me a set of parochial misconceptions about the realities of the dating market.

My understanding of things was clear: everyone has premarital sex.  Perhaps not everyone will demand it of you as a girlfriend or boyfriend, and you can always freely refuse it, but you must know that everyone has it eventually.  Since this is the case, an abstinent person’s romantic life will consist of a series of relationships which end when your partner gets fed up with your abstinence, though perhaps one day one of these relationships will lead to marriage before that occurs.  If you do marry, although your spouse will have accommodated your strange practice for a courtship period, he will not take your ideas seriously, and certainly would not have followed any of them before dating you.  I found this situation suboptimal, but it was the reality that I had come to accept.  Although logistically more complicated than most differences of opinion, I didn’t see why this one should prevent me from dating any more than, say, a difference of religion.

While I still hold that you should not limit yourself to dating only people who share your sexual ethics, I wish I’d know that there are other reasonable chaste people in this world.  Given my pessimistic understanding of the dating market, it’s a wonder that I scraped by with my views intact.  And I certainly worry that there are many similar high school and college students who, faced with the prospects of a dating market in which everyone has premarital sex, simply give up. Indeed, there is a prudence to such defeat: if everyone else is doing it, how can you compete? How could I expect a man who’s slept with a number of women to marry me before having sex? How could I expect him to take on the risk that I’m worse in bed?

Yet this need not be the case. When sufficient numbers declare their commitment to sound sexual ethics, this alters the dating market and makes abstinence more feasible. This is one of the best reasons for an organization like Anscombe to exist. It might seem silly for us to run around declaring our commitment to sound sexual ethics, but such behavior can combat the hopelessness which might drive other students to forgo their ideals. Reading about True Love Revolution and Anscombe certainly gave me great solace, and we should not disregard the possibility of enabling someone to stick to their sexual ethics.