I had the greatest idea the other day: get a prenuptial agreement! (As it doesn’t look like I’ll wed soon, this plan may take a while to go into effect.) “Why,” you might ask, “would somebody so virtuous and chaste want to get a prenup?” Well, let me tell you! Since I don’t accept the possibility of divorce, my prenup will be designed specifically to make divorce as painful and awful as possible. All assets will be seized by the state. I will own my husband’s right arm, left leg, and right ear, and he will own mine. Because of this, divorce would necessarily entail a sundering of limbs. And let’s face it, if we really took marriage seriously, we would understand divorce to be a similarly violent affair.
As it currently stands, the law takes a rather libertarian stance on marriage, and I would love to see private individuals gracefully respond to this with their own creative measures. Ideally my plan would become a popular fad, because really, who doesn’t want to vow true permanence when they marry? Somehow, it just seems more sincere to say “’till death do us part” when you know that breaking that vow would result in amputation.