Links: Dating and Courtship

Christian Courtship: Different from the Dating Game

by Henrietta Gomes, Catholic online

This article argues that dating must occur with a view to marriage, and that there ought to be certain non-negotiables (such as Church teachings on contraception and cohabitation) in these relationships.

What is Courtship All About?

by Carmen Marcoux

This article is primarily concerned with the differences between courtship and dating. In courtship, the consideration of marriage is at the forefront, unlike dating, which often occurs between couples who feel that their partner is not marriage material. Marcoux also discusses practical considerations about responsibility and accountability.

Proposing Courtship

by Amy and Leon Kass, First Things

A discussion of how gender neutrality in contemporary society has led to a loss of manhood and womanhood, which in turn led to a lack of appreciation for romance and courtship. The Kasses suggest that modern literature has desensitized us to this sort of interaction, and they provide an example from Erasmus’ Colloquy to explain the importance of courtship and a view towards marriage.

The End of Courtship” (Parts 1, 2, and 3)

by Leon Kass

Kass presents the current state of affairs with regard to courtship, and laments various problems, such as the devaluing the family, the overemphasis on pleasure, and relationships without a view towards marriage. He then presents a brief solution: women need to raise the banner of “not until we’re married.” Parts 2 and 3 are linked at the bottom of the page.

A Case for Courtship

by Amy Kass

Kass begins by suggesting that in the modern world, the assumption of premarital sex in relationships has created a problem for people interested in beginning families and having meaningful relationships. She suggests that we can learn from our predecessors about the importance of courtship. Similar to other articles by Leon and Amy Cass, but the ties to literature are always very interesting and insightful.

Take Back the Date

by Allison Kasic

An article endorsing dating (perhaps what some might call courtship) and getting to know a romantic interest personally rather than engaging in the campus hook-up culture. A short but good article; more advocacy than information.

When Good Girls Date Bad Boys

by Mary Beth Bonacci

Bonacci discusses the phenomenon of nice girls dating bad boys. She attributes this to young men understanding what girls want, and pretending to be emotional and sensitive, while in reality they may be bad boys. Bonacci warns parents not to be deceived by appearances, and not to push their daughters to date boys that seem nice on the surface.

“Passionate Attachments in the West in Historical Perspective”

by Lawrence Stone

Stone points out that marrying for love is a largely modern phenomenon, and indicates that sexual fulfillment being accepted as the primary right of both men and women has led to destructive consequences.

Where is the Love? Students Eschew Campus Romance

by Sue Shellenbarger, Wall Street Journal

College romances are becoming a thing of the past, according to Shellenbarger, who says they have been replaced by office romances. People are marrying later, and choose to not have serious relationships in college. This article is mainly focused on observing and commenting on the trend, rather than making an argument.

Romance in the Information Age

by Christine Rosen

In the modern era, people are treated as products, and technology leads us to seek efficiency, even in personal relationships. Rosen argues that we must be patient and allow romance to develop slowly.

Excerpt from “Love, Dating, and Romance”

by Rabbi Pinchas Stolper

Rabbi Stolper addresses how Jews should treat dating and relationships, and explains why Jewish law prohibits physical contact in dating.

The Superglue Touch”, an excerpt from “The Magic Touch: A Jewish Approach to Relationships

by Gila Manolson

Provides an outline of the Jewish idea of shomer negiah (allowing no physical contact between a couple until marriage) and emphasizes the extraordinary power of physical touch in relationships. Encourages sensitivity in our physical interactions.

Injuries, the Self-Fulfilling Prophesy”, an exerpt from “The Magic Touch: A Jewish Approach to Relationships

by GIla Manolson

Focuses on the importance of preserving physical closeness for permanent relationships in order to protect the deeply emotional component of our romantic interactions.

Dating is About Dumping

This article is a response to those that remain in relationships that they know are not working out because they fear hurting people’s feelings. This article stresses that dating involves rejection, and that the way to show the person you are dating that you care about them is to dump them promptly and kindly and free them up to find their Mr. or Ms. Right.

Love, Dating, and Morality: The Latter-Day Saint Way

An FAQ with answers to common questions about the view of sexuality within the Church of Latter-Day Saints. A simple but helpful resource.